HOPE. Tiny Gestures Make a Difference

Philanthropists, and the Bible, too - tell us that when we perform some random act of kindness it shouldn't be discussed, as it may be perceived as insincere. However, for the sake of hoping to inspire - I'll tell you about something that happened today so that perhaps you, too, will reflect and follow through the next time you have an ambivalent thought about helping someone.

This morning I stopped at a convenient store with my two children and got a cup of coffee and a snack. There were three homeless people standing outside, one of whom had apparently just enough change to purchase a donut and was allowed to stand inside the store long enough to eat it, and I could tell he was eating it slowly to buy himself some time for warmth.

I'll be honest and tell you I used to have mixed emotions about the homeless. I think many of us do, but don't tell others. There's the wondering - does this person have a substance abuse problem, or did they do something to "cause" their homelessness? Are they lazy, and didn't try hard enough to get work before they were in the predicament? It's easy for us to say that to ourselves. Until now, aside from a few quarters in a hat here and there - I'd never considered helping anyone out other than what the church would ask for while I was there. I would say to myself, "oh, they'll probably spend it on booze and cigarettes anyway".

As I've gotten older I've learned to not pass judgment. Lately, I've been feeling much differently. When I see someone that appears to be homeless, I have an internal struggle about whether or not I should do something. I realize that there are a number of factors that would cause one to lose the roof over their head, and it probably wasn't one isolated issue. Many are mentally ill. Some may have been abused. And others, well - could have been someone just like me or my husband, someone that worked hard all his life, but then something happened. Maybe he lost his job or something, and just couldn't make it.

Particularly in this time in our economy, my family has felt the stress of financial burden. Perhaps this is why I felt compelled to do something spontaneous. Having children changes us, too. We become less self-centered. More empathetic. Maybe, on some subconscious level - I may have thought "what if that ever happened to me". What a horror it would be, with small children.

I sat in the car with my children and coffee in my nice warm SUV and watched the eldest of them, the one that had been standing inside with the donut. I'm not sure why I singled him out - except that intuitively I felt he looked the most sincere. He was older, too, and had a kind face. I guess I rationalized that the younger two might have more fight left in them and could still work given the opportunity so they'd be okay.

After a few minutes, I decided that it was time for me to quit thinking about it and just do something. All I had left on me was a $20 bill, because I don't carry much cash (as most of us don't). But I thought, If I don't do this now - I won't do it. I said to the kids, "Mama will be right back" and got out of the car (he was just a few feet in front of us). The strangest emotions overcame me. It was a mixture of fear, anxiety, sadness, guilt, and peace. He was only a few feet from my car, but I was worrying, what will I say to him? What if he wasn't homeless? Was I making an assumption based on his clothing that was incorrect? How embarrassing that could be. But I mustered up courage, and this is what came out:

"Excuse me, sir. I don't want to insult you. Do you have any money for yourself"?

He replied, "No". I nervously handed him my meager $20. "I said, please take this and get something for yourself". That's all I could get out. He said quietly,"thank you", without looking at me. Feeling a little awkward, I hurried back into the car. As I buckled my seatbelt, he was putting the $20 in a small front-pocket mesh wallet he had, and he looked up at me - right in the eyes, with a small wave, and a really grateful look in his eye - and this time he said thank you in a much more meaningful manner. It occurred to me at that moment that he must have felt as awkward as I did - having to take a $20 bill from a younger woman who could have been his daughter so he could eat. Men are born with pride, so to have to swallow it daily must be awful.

As I pulled away, my eyes welled up with tears. I felt peaceful, and so sad at the same time, I guess because I wished it could have been more, and for the guilt of having more than he. I struggled to compose myself so I could explain to my 3-1/2 year old what had just taken place. It seemed important for me to tell my children that not everyone has comfort like we do.

Three hours later as I type this I still am feeling melancholy. I certainly haven't done anything particularly special. Then again, maybe I did. Because if you are thinking to yourself "what difference will $5, $10 or $20 do in the big scheme of this man's life"? This is the answer: this man will have food for a week on that measly $20. And, if there is another person that comes along and does that in another few weeks - he will eat for another month. If 12 of us did it - he will exist for another year.. And then maybe, just maybe - something will come along and change for him - like a job, a person that can offer him more.

Most of all, with our measly few dollars - he has HOPE.

Moms, it have been one of our fathers. It could have been our husband. Our brother. Or worst ever - in thirty years - our child. That man had a mommy once too, I'm sure. So I implore you. If you are hesitating the next time - bite the bullet and just do it. Get past your self-consciousness and make that gesture, with whatever small thing you can do. Even if its $5. Its enough.

CHEAP WINES UNDER $9!

Hey Moms & Dads, if you haven't checked out this new squidoo lens, click here & take a look:

TOP 9 CHEAP RED WINES

This is a great reference to readily available red wines for everyday drinking & eating - and if you have a wine habit, you know it can be an expensive one. The author (me)! will be updating this periodically as new wines become available and as the palate experiments. This will not just be me and my opinion, but the opinion of my husband and friends as well - several tastes are better than one! Anyone wanting to share their picks of favorite wines under 9? Add them to the lens! We're always looking for new ones. Check it out and let us know what you think!

Don't forget to hit OneStopMommyShop.com for a great recipe to make with your glass of wine!

Busy Mom Cooks: Top 5 Ingredients for Easier & More Delicious Meals

• Coarse Kosher Salt
  
• Slow-cooker
  
• Mini Food Processor
• Wines for Cooking
• An Open Mind

Busy Moms, whether you enjoy cooking or not, you're probably doing it for your family. So why not make the food taste better, and the process easier on yourself? You don't need two hours in the kitchen to prepare a good meal.

When people ask me, "how did you get to be such a good cook?" I tell them, "I know how to read". Cooking is not hard, if you just follow the directions carefully. And being a good cook doesn't have to mean complex instructions or top shelf gourmet ingredients, either. A few, simple ingredients, a few minutes to prepare, and you can have a delicious meal on the table that will make your family happy. I've been practicing for many years, so some things come naturally for me. But they can for you, too, if you allow it.

If you don't have them already, I challenge you to add these few things in your kitchen, and you're on your way to chefhood.

Coarse Kosher Salt. I'm not sure where I picked up this tidbit (Sara Moulton, celebrity chef perhaps?), but it was the best cooking advice I think I ever got. She said [paraphrase]

"If you change only one thing about your cooking, it should be the salt."

Coarse salt brings out the best in the flavors of your food. Use it just as you would table salt for any recipes. Do this for a week, and I want to hear from you if you don't notice a difference in how your food tastes! Most supermarkets now carry it. Or you can get it here This one will last a long time. I like to keep mine in an old fashioned salt container on my counter (you remember, the ones with the wooden lids) so I can just reach my hand in and grab a pinch, handful, whatever. The only time you wouldn't use this salt, "of coarse", is at tableside :) Oh! and this suggestion goes for black peppercorns, as well. Get yourself a good pepper grinder and keep it near the cooktop along with the kosher salt.

Slow Cooker. This is just a fancy name for what our moms called the crockpot, but I guess the foodie Gods felt we needed to reinvent the name - for fear of being considered outdated by using one. Get it! There's only one dish to clean up, and stuff can sit in there for hours without you having to worry about overcooking or starting the house on fire. Before the kids, I was kind of a crockpot snob - but now, its my saving grace. This is the one I have. Its cute for entertaining and doesn't look like its from a garage sale, works great - not too pricey and excellent for parties.

Wine for Cooking. You'll notice I didn't say "cooking wine". Whomever concocted that atrocity was probably not the greatest cook. You're better off substituting broth, it tastes better. Seriously? Even if you've sworn off alcohol, using wine in your cooking will enhance the recipes tremendously by adding a woody, fruity depth you can't get elsewhere. If you are concerned about the kids or allergies to alcohol, no worries - in cooking, at a low boil, the alchohol burns off usually within the first three minutes.

You don't have to have a wine cellar - just pick up a four-pack of individual bottles that your supermarket now carries. They're suitable enough for cooking and you won't waste much, if any, leftover wine - since the bottles are so small. That being said, remember that the flavor left after the alcohol cooks out will remain - so the better the wine, the better the food will taste. Many a great chef have been known to nip at a glass of wine during cooking, so if there's leftover, I'm sure you can find a use for it ;)

Mini-food Processor - I like the Cuisinart Mini-Prep Plus. I have a bigger one for big jobs, but this one sits on my counter to be used almost daily for chopping garlic, onions, vegetables, nuts for recipes, making breadcrumbs, "shredding" fresh parmesan, you name it. It doesn't take up much space at all, and I swear it cuts down about 10 minutes of prep time almost every recipe. The key to making this a snap to use - give the reservior a quick hand washing immediately after use so it's ready for the next job. It won't do you any good sitting in the dishwasher for three days.

An Open Mind. My children eat almost (of course exceptions) everything put in front of them. Mainly, it's because I never assume they won't like something. Just because I didn't when I was 2 or3, doesn't mean they won't. Present your children's food with a positive attitude. Let them know it's okay if they don't like something, but don't give up after two times. Just keep putting experimental things in front of them. Set a good example, and try new things yourself. Food has come a long way in our culture in the last 10 years or so - and lima beans are not the same when they're cooked down, pureed with olive oil, and seasoned with salt, pepper, lemon juice and parmesan cheese (they're delicious, try it!) I never even saw asparagus until I was an adult at 27, because my mother just thought all kids hated it. Its now one of my favorite veggies.

Listen, I'm not above throwing a few canned goods into a crockpot for a quick meal occasionally - as you'll see in my realistic weekly menus at the One Stop Mommy Shop.com. But what you'll also see there, is a few recipes that incorporate fresh, new & interesting ingredients that you might not think of as typical family food. Using the five ingredients above is a great way to add time and confidence back into your kitchen!

GET FOCUSED, ORGANIZED & SOME GREAT RECIPES AT THE ONE STOP MOMMY SHOP!

My New Beginning

An interesting ride so far, its been, at the new onestopmommyshop.com, my new project. "What a world we live in". As a 35+ mother, I hear myself now sounding like my own far too often (gaaaa!) with comments such as this.

I've spent the last three weeks spending every minute of my (ha!) free time learning about how to create a website, effectively. What a can of gargantuan worms. Never in a million years was I prepared for learning an entire new software, language, and culture. Granted, I've been out of the working world "outside" for about 5 years, but I don't even think my business background could have prepared me for this cybercrazy boxing ring.

My site will focus on helping overwhelmed moms, and preparing them for battle in an environment of hollering infants, unruly toddlers, and question-asking preschoolers - while also giving a great dinner recipe and an idea to get the house organized in the midst of chaos. Its fun, and I'm trying not to take myself so seriously.

Meantime, I'm not much of a creative writer, so this will be more like a rant until the skills improve. However, I'm excited about the endeavor I'm beginning for busy moms, and look forward to coming here to talk about the silly things that go on with young children.